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Andrew Rawnsley, "Cops and floggers dangle rope but minister gets off", The Guardian, London, 11^th October 1990

THE security ring around the Bournemouth conference centre was penetrated yesterday when a man wanted for questioning in connection with the recent crime wave got within inches of the Prime Minister.

But the man, identified by the Dorset constabulary as David Waddington, protested his innocence. He told the conference he was only an ordinary, helpless Home Secretary and had never done any harm to anybody in his life. That, for most of the conference, was precisely his offence. Dozens of motions from the constituencies had been tabled demanding the reintroduction of hanging and flogging.

The party's Flagellant Tendency was already in evidence in advance of the debate. A banner displayed outside bore the arresting slogan: 'Capital Punishment Saves Lives'.

While we worked that one out, a fringe meeting revealed some ideological confusion on the right. At a nearby hotel, Mary Whitehouse was billed to address a group called COP Campaign To Outlaw Pornography. Outside the hotel, another group, Conservatives Against Sex Censorship, was offering a rival attraction: 'Topless model Simone, 19, from the Electric Blue erotic video, will be joining Tory anti-censorship campaigners to protest against the rising tide of sex puritanism.'

Simone protested by taking off most of her clothes. She wandered around in white stockings and panties, shivering with disgust at the rising tide of puritanism or, more likely, the gale blowing off the English Channel. The group's leader, Sean Gabb, was asked what he read himself. Playboy? Penthouse? Or something more explicit? 'Oh,' replied Mr Gabb. 'I'm a Daily Telegraph man myself.' The really hard stuff.

By now gorgeous, pouting Mary, aged 80, was hitting back by showing her own shocking video. An American sex offender was screened confessing his crimes. 'He raped and murdered 29 women,' explained a sweet-looking old lady in the audience. Then a huge smile spread across her face. 'But he's been put to death in the chair. Isn't that lovely?'

The Laura Norder debate got under way with demands for tougher sentences, more police and hanging judges.

'I'm opposing this motion,' said one speaker. Ah, a bit of a softie? 'Because it does not go far enough.'

A delegate from Norwich delivered the speech the conference wanted to hear. This was not just because he had a haircut last seen on that other rightwinger who was strong on discipline, Adolf Hitler.

'In the old days, any murderer knew what the result would be,' declared Robin Knowles. 'He would be dangling from a rope.'

The conference bayed with approval, having already made clear in the environment debate that it wanted to see the death penalty for persistent litter-droppers.

Mr Waddington rose to speak, knowing the conference was threatening him with the ultimate punishment no standing ovation.

'This is the first conference I have addressed as Home Secretary,' he began, making an early appeal for clemency. 'The recent crime figures were disappointing,' he admitted, but in mitigation they should consider this: 'Some of you have advocated capital punishment,' he growled. 'Everyone knows my views.'

The conference began cheering. He growled some more rightwing noises. They cheered some more. The Home Secretary announced further privatisation of remand centres. He could not flog prisoners, but he could flog their prisons. The conference cheered yet louder.

At last they had a Home Secretary as extreme as themselves. Mr Waddington got a year's probation.